Theatre Humour
Without a doubt theatre people have the best sense of humour, along with some anecdotes and idioms that audience members might not be privy to. Well here's some theatre-related humour to tickle your funny bone. Check back often for updates.
The Theatre Dictionary
ETERNITY
The time that passes between a dropped cue and the next line.
PROP
A hand-carried object small enough to be lost by an actor 30 seconds before it is needed on stage.
MONOLOGUE
That shining moment when all eyes are focused on a single actor who is desperately aware that if he forgets a line, no one can save hm.
BIT PART
An opportunity for the actor with the smallest role to count everybody else's lines and mention repeatedly that he or she has the smallest part in the show.
STAGE RIGHT, STAGE LEFT
Two simple directions actors pretend not to understand in order to drive directors crazy. ("No, no, your OTHER stage right!")
BLOCKING
The art of moving actors on the stage in such a manner as not to collide with the walls, the furniture, the orchestra pit or each other. Similar to playing chess, except that the pawns want to argue with you.
ACTORS
(as defined by a set designer)
People who stand between the audience and the set designer's art, blocking the view. That's also the origin of the word "blocking", by the way.
DIRECTOR
The individual who suffers from the delusion that he or she is responsible for every moment of brilliance cited by the critic in the local review.
ASSISTANT DIRECTOR
Individual willing to undertake special projects that nobody else would take on a bet, such as working one-on-one with the brain-dead actor whom the rest of the cast has threatened to take a contract out on.
STAGE MANAGER
Individual responsible for overseeing the crew, supervising the set changes, baby-sitting the actors and putting the director in a hammerlock to keep him from killing the actor who just decided to turn his walk-on part into a major role by doing magic tricks while he serves the tea.
STAGE CREW
Group of individuals who spend their evenings coping with 50-minute stretches of total boredom interspersed with 30-second bursts of mindless panic.
MESSAGE PLAY
Any play which its director describes as "worthwhile", "a challenge to actors and audience alike", or "designed to make the audience think". Critics will be impressed both by the daring material and the roomy accommodations (since they're likely to have the house all to themselves)
BEDROOM FARCE
Any play which requires various states of undress on stage and whose set sports a lot of doors. The lukewarm reviews, all of which feature the phrase "typical community theatre fare" in the opening paragraph, are followed paradoxically by a frantic attempt to schedule more performances to accommodate the overflow crowds.
STRIKE
The time immediately following the last performance where all cast and crew members are required to stay and dismantle the set... or watch the two people who own Makita screw drivers dismantle the set.
QUALITY THEATRE
Any show with which you were directly involved.
TURKEY
Every show with which you were not directly involved. |
